somanythingsleftunsaid


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Bad Karma

Poutine makes everything better.I should have stayed in bed. I, literally should have never left it. Those days when bad mojo hovers thick like air in Hamilton on a hot, humid summer day, should automatically, be considered sick days. There’s been nothing big, (well, fixing the hot water heater might be financially big, who knows) just a series of little crappy things…little losses. It makes my little brain and little heart hurt.

Maybe you’ve seen it too….but I was tagged in a challenge on Facebook to come up with 3 positive things every day for 5 days. Today’s happy thoughts were simple though…poutine topped the list as well as not being maimed or killed whilst drowning in this vat of bad karma. The benefit of this challenge has been how it can change how I look at things, at least for a while.

Ok, it’s not so bad really, just frustrating. My woes are minuscule compared to what others are dealing with today…one friend just lost their mother and another is dealing with a broken tibia that may need surgery. Now a broken water heater, smacking my head on a cupboard door and taking a baseball to the shoulder and a glove to the face is nothing! Still doesn’t mean I don’t want to kick Karma’s a$$!


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#RAKit – Who are you going to RAK?

http://thechive.com/?s=rakit

This is just a pretty picture....not really relevant to the topic!

This is just a pretty picture….not really relevant to the topic!

The Chive
I love this crazy little site. It’s a source of lots of photos, videos, links…general time wasters. It’s also filled with awesome people. The Chive charity has given countless numbers of people financial help they need for a whole host of causes. They also kicked off the week with a challenge to all their followers. RAK week. And their reasoning is very sound. With all the chaos in the world, maybe we need a little kindness!

So here’s the challenge…go out and RAK someone today!!! I took popsicles to some friends working hard outside in today’s hot, mugginess. Yesterday, I shared candy with my ball team, and well….does shooting them all with a water gun count as a RAK?


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But I like monkeys….

From Morguefile.com By iLocalised Image URI: http://mrg.bz/gVnRSS

From Morguefile.com
By iLocalised
Image URI: http://mrg.bz/gVnRSS

I keep seeing this quote popping up on the net, “Every time you feel yourself being pulled into other people’s drama, repeat these words…..NOT MY CIRCUS, NOT MY MONKEYS.”  Not so much keen on the drama, but yes, monkeys are quite cool. My volleyball team is even made of monkeys…

Wait!

Does that mean I have monkeys? 

Anyway, I am still feeling a little lost, which is why this site has fallen silent. Life has been full of stories of illness, murder, robbery, identity theft, abduction, animal cruelty…just so many reasons why a moat filled with hungry crocks would be a fantastic gardening option for my home. It’s just hard to think that my buying a stranger a cuppa joe can make a difference.

But maybe it’s not about changing the world.

Maybe it’s about changing yourself. It’s been so easy to withdraw into the safety of eremitism. After all, it’s much easier to handle loss (of any kind) when you have no one to lose right? It’s also made me lose my sense of fun.

So enough of that! I’m not letting the “bastards get me down,” as a former coworker used to say all the time. Starting yesterday, I RAK’d the lady behind me in the Tim Horton’s drive through. It’s a start right?


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Timeout

Well, that was quite the tantrum and for that, I needed a timeout. Sometimes, it’s good to spend some alone time just to sort out your thoughts, and maybe to stop yourself from saying absolutely everything that comes to mind.

While everything I said in the last post is true, it’s not really the point. Life is about the journey. If you’re lucky, you find some seriously awesome people to come along for the ride. Fortunately, I’ve found some. If you can leave a positive imprint on the lives and hearts of others before your time is up, realize and achieve your dreams and hopes and love with all your heart, that is a life well spent.


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So that’s it then…

I throw in the towel…wave the white flag.

I. Just. Give. Up.

Since my mom passed away last May, I have attempted to honour her memory by finding small gestures that life a little nicer. From random acts of kindness to deliberately finding even the smallest things to be thankful for and telling the world, I’ve hoped it would make me and those around me feel a little bit better, maybe breed some good Karma.

It didn’t work.

Last night my father was taken to the hospital by ambulance. We don’t really know what’s wrong other than his legs gave out last week and he fell. Since that fall, his ability to walk has dramatically decreased and his level of pain and weakness has substantially increased.

Until you’ve watched, helpless, as your parents writhe and moan in pain, their eyes pleading with you to help them, no one can understand how much your heart can ache. How plainly you see their mortality (and your own) and how alone you really are. Where many turn to faith to keep them going in uncertain times, I find myself having less and less. While I wanted to inspire people, I find that I just can’t. In the end, it doesn’t really seem to matter. People are still mistreated, the environment is still dying, illness still happens and we all still end up the same way.


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Seconds, Minutes, Hours

The Passage of Time

The Passage of Time (Photo credit: ToniVC)

Listening to the rain fall on the window while the wind blows through the trees, my mind is whirring with thoughts as I try to will myself to sleep. It’s not working. On my way home tonight, as I was slowing to turn down my road, a large deer stepped out in front of me. The large majestic animal surveyed my approach he decided he should continue on his way and loped into the darkness. As quickly as he appeared, he was gone. A fleeting moment in time.

It’s all so fleeting really. Life, that is. We’ve divided up our lives into units of time.  Seconds, minutes, hours, days, years…..all to categorize and organize our existence. Yet it still passes all the same. Every unique experience gone in a single breath never to return. In a sense – dead, living on only in our memories.  Just like those we’ve loved and lost. As is, I learned today, the father of a family of good friends. His passing reminds me my losses as well and my heart goes out to them. Having just heard stories of this man’s life and now in his passing, I find myself thinking that he would have been an interesting man to have known better.

We never have enough time.


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Surprise!

I received a text Monday from one of my my niece who also shares my enthusiasm for Halloween (and Christmas for that matter). She had texted to tell me that she left a surprise on my kitchen table for me. Just something she saw that she thought I’d like. A surprise! For me!? She had mentioned weeks ago that she had picked up something when she was out one day, but one of the benefits to others of my advancing age is that my memory isn’t quite what it used to be and I’d forgotten that she had something for me. Well, could I wait to get home to see what it was? No. What a question. Excited, I ran up the stairs as soon as I returned to find what she left behind. I giggled and quickly hung the two Halloween signs she found for me in the windows. How cool is that?! However, do you think she’s trying to tell me something with the one on the right? If she is…I’m good with that! 😉 Thanks for my surprise! It really made my day!

Halloween signs