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Anybody have a wrench?

pierfixI’m so broken. Like really broken. Worse yet, I don’t know how to fix it!
I want to, desperately. I look in the mirror and think “WHO are YOU!” with disdain. This insecure, unhappy, negative person looking back at me is making me and everyone else around me miserable. Last week, I ran away. Well, not really, but I was away at an art seminar. I was surrounded by some amazing people, my artistic mentor and nature. I never wanted to leave. For the first time in months, I was free of everything hurting me. I just am at such a loss. I can’t seem to shake it either. I’m just so lost.

I should be careful. I will end up sending even the strangers here that read this fleeing into the digital oblivion. Maybe that’s where the real me went. If you see her, can you send her home?


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Peas in a Pod

Two peas in a pod cupcake by Ana Fuji.

Two peas in a pod cupcake by Ana Fuji. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I have a twin. Well, kind of. Not one by blood, but she’s every bit like a sister to me. I’m lucky that way. I have several close “sisters,” all of which are by choice not genetics. Being an only child has meant I’ve extended my family by making strong friendships. So my twin, shares many of my beliefs, thoughts, interests and hobbies all while being able to offer up a differing point of view when I need one. Last night we finally had a chance to catch up after a few days of not even being able to text much. As it is, we text, email or message each other most days, sometimes a few times a day! I enjoy this kind of relationship with a few people. I would never change it. These people make crummy days bearable…so that was my happy thing in an otherwise, unremarkable day yesterday. Oh, and the handle on my refrigerator door is still broken, I’m thinking of leaving it that way.

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You are beautiful……still


Beauty © 2013

In December I performed an act of kindness (see “Hey you! Yeah, You! You’re Beautiful!”) that consisted of leaving notes reminding women just how beautiful they really are. This act actually inspired me artistically as well! As I mentioned in my blog a friend of mine has a painting on her wall that said, simply “You’re beautiful!” This combined with my act of kindness stirred my creativity and I created a painting of my own with that sentiment. It’s a part of a larger series, actually on display, locally, right now. So I thought I’d share that painting here…I can see it possibly becoming part of that act of kindness again one day!!!! Keep an eye out!

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A thank you…

Did you have a teacher or a coach when you were young that had a vast positive influence on you? Did they offer you encouragement or help you through a tough time? Perhaps you were older, in college or university, or even more recently. I think most of us have. I did.

I had wanted to send her a letter, just to let her know that her know that her kindness, encouragement and support really has influenced the direction my life has taken. However, it’s proven difficult to find her address to do so. This might not have been the case had her son not been a famous, Stanley Cup winning, NHL hockey player. One would imagine that they may want to keep a low profile. So it’s been difficult to find a way to let her know how much her actions really meant to me. So, out of respect for her privacy, I won’t name her directly.

This lady was the librarian at my public school. She had the reputation for being a stern lady, but my love of books allowed me to see a different side of her. I’ve always drawn, since I was just small, I’d draw on anything. In maybe 5th or 6th grade I started show a greater propensity toward art. This lady suggested that I enter some of my work in the county fair and then she filled out the entry forms AND drove my work there as my parents both worked during the times scheduled for drop off. Her belief in my abilities paid off and I won several awards that year. It was the first time that I was rewarded for something I loved to do. I started to think that maybe I can draw a little! I placed entries in the fair every year following that until the end of high school. It was her first nudge to show my work that encouraged me to keep drawing and keep creating. Today, I am an artist. I’ve studied with amazing artists, including Robert Bateman, an amazing artist and naturalist.

Would I still have pursued a career in art? Probably, it’s a passion that’s followed me throughout my life, however, at that uncertain age, she showed me that she believed I had a gift and that it should be shared, which gave me confidence to continue. For that, I’m grateful. Thank you.

Now if anyone who knows me might have a way I can get this letter to her send me a message, otherwise I hope to one day let her know that she had a lasting influence on me.

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Today is the twelfth day of the twelfth month of 2012….some would say monumental. There were articles and news spots all day talking about how you could celebrate this memorable day. It had me thinking of how I could, in my own way, pay homage to this particular moment in time while finding ways to complete my kindness mission. I could send a dozen donuts to the fire department. A dozen daisies to the doctor’s office….but an idea struck and it seemed perfect. I decided o send twelve people 12 things I love about them.

I found that all of the people I sent these little messages to had one thing in common, they were kind people themselves. It was a lot of fun coming up with the things that I truly loved about these people. Most had a great sense of humour, were understanding, some shared my love of art either as an artist, or a patron of the arts. This isn’t to say that there are only 12 people in my life that I could find 12 things I like! The fact of the matter is, everyone in my life is here for a reason – I want them in it. After doing this, it makes me realize how rarely we actually express these things to the people we care about. Again, it remains unsaid! It’s such a simple way to let them know that they’re important to you. So I believe I’ll make my way through the others in my life and let them know just that.

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Art for Healing

One hopes that they will never need to spend time in the hospital, but inevitably, that time does come. I’ve been there, after a car accident 8 years ago I spent 4 days under the care of the doctors and nurses at the local hospital. I was released on Christmas Eve. I was bound and bent on going home that day, even if it meant that I had to crawl home on my hands and knees! Since then there’s been a massive fundraising campaign to build a new, state of the art facility which opened just last year. The fundraising continues.

I’ve spent a significant amount of time in hospitals throughout my life. In high school, being active in a LOT of sports found me as a regular at the emergency department. More recently, I spent a lot of time in hospitals with my mom as she underwent her cancer treatment and in her final days. I’ve learned the importance of funding for our health care centres. Imagine the consequences without them!

Today I delivered some of my art work to support an art sale at the local hospital. A portion of the sales will be donated to the hospital foundation. As an artist, it’s a great feeling to be able to use something you love to do as a means to raise funds for a good cause. Here’s hoping my work will draw some sales!

Acrylic © 2012

Acrylic © 2012