somanythingsleftunsaid

Where do we go from here?

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I never intended for this to become a place for me to gripe and whine, although, I hope that the words I share might help someone else who stumbles up on them. I intended this space to be motivational. While my heart isn’t completely in this idea right now, I know mom would have wanted me to gather something positive from losing her this way. I guess I have, in that, it’s changed my perception of “tomorrow.” It may not come. Which means that the opportunity to do the things I’ve always wanted to may not come tomorrow. I may not have the chance to tell someone I love them, if I don’t do it today. I don’t think you can say that enough. I actually learned that well before mom was gone. It was something we said every time we talked and I’m glad for that.

Upon realizing these things, I decided I needed to start doing these things….now. As Steve Jobs once said, “‘If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?’ And whenever the answer has been ‘No’ for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.” While I started to adopt this philosophy a couple of years ago, it’s really hit home now. There’s a new sense of urgency about it. Who are the people who are important to me? What are the things I want to do? Where do I want to go from here? I found myself thinking of WHAT this “bucket list” would look like, while sitting with mom in the hospital. It ranged from keeping in better touch with friends, to travel, to supporting causes I believe in.

Such things as: going to Manitoba to see the polar bears, going to Alaska, to Australia, New Zealand, the Galapagos Islands, and to pet the “friendlies” in Baja California, were all obvious things for that list. But there’s so much more I want to do! I want to cultivate my friendships and learn to appreciate them in all their forms and mediums. I want to remember to look for the joy in the small things, even when things seem dire. I want to stop taking so many things for granted…I try not to, but sometimes, I do. I want to DO something that leaves an impact on the world. Something that changes things for the better. I want to leave my mark on history and hopefully inspire others to do so as well.

These are a few of the things I’m going to do…have you thought of what your “bucket” list looks like?

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