I’m finding things are difficult for many people, not just for those of us close to her, after mom’s death. It seems there are many people in my life that are being affected by it as well. For some that means they are more conscious of their bodies and their health, something I know I’ve grown more aware of as well. I know that she’d be glad for that. For some it’s that they’ve seen a change in me. They’ve seen how much it’s all shaken me and it’s unnerved them. For that, I’m sorry. I know that there are days I’m moody and sad and that’s not always easy to deal with. I know that it’s brought out some fears that have caused me to act in strange and mysterious ways. Please know, it’s part of the grieving process. I will always be that person you knew, but right now, I’m just learning how to incorporate this new “normal” that includes this huge void left by losing someone I love. I’m learning, slowly. I ask that you be please be patient; don’t be deterred. I won’t always be scared and in need of reassurance. I will always be a fighter even though, right now, my fight seems to be more of a whimper. I know I’m stronger than I feel right now. I just need some time.

2 thoughts on “Changes

  1. Know that I’m here for you. Read this post and the one before it – you’re right. The grieving process is personal. I don’t think we ever get over the ones we’ve lost. Not in a year, not ever. Eventually it might not hurt quite as deeply but I think the void is never filled. We just learn to live with it.

    Don’t apologize. We didn’t have the relationship with your mom that you did. We have no right to ask or expect an apology from you.

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