somanythingsleftunsaid

Today I’m Angry

3 Comments

Today, I’m angry.

I’m angry with the doctors because they didn’t catch Mom’s cancer sooner. I’m angry with the hospital because they can’t cure her. I’m angry at science, because despite all of the amazing advances in technology and medicine we’ve made, we haven’t found a cure. Yet, we can talk to people on the other side of the world in an instant from the comfort of our couch. We can fly to the moon and live in space but still illnesses and diseases such as the common cold, Multiple Sclerosis, Alzheimer’s and Cancer, just to name a few, all still plague us.

I’m angry with myself because I don’t feel I’ve done enough. When you love someone and they’re dying, you never feel like you’ve done enough. For as much time and as many things as I may have done to help – from going to appointments, to talking to doctors, to just listening to her when she was afraid or upset, I wish I could have done more.

I’m angry with God, or the Universe, or Gaia or whatever power that be there may be. I won’t go into the reasons why. I’ll take them up with the big one itself. Those reasons can be left unsaid.

Again, it all comes down to time. The reason for my anger is because we all wanted just a little more time.

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3 thoughts on “Today I’m Angry

  1. you have every right to be angry….but with the situations not with yourself…. Be angry with not having a cure to help with this curse. There is never enough time …all we have is what is given to us, and you are doing all you can do .

  2. Be angry. Vent it however you can / want to. I read once that sometimes people are afraid to be angry – that anger is the opposite of love and they don’t want to seem unloving. The written response was that anger is not the opposite of love but rather a part of it. Apathy is the opposite. Not caring, not feeling is the opposite of love. Being angry at God, Gaia, the universe, the disease is not in opposition to love but a further expression of it. If you didn’t love your mom so much you wouldn’t be angry. Don’t wallow in anger but do give it its time. Love and hugs to all of you!

    • Lots of love is being sent right back to you. We all get angry…however, anger out of love is totally different from hate…You will be angry in different forms….the trick is you will be able to over come and strive…… You must know that if given a choice Mary would have choose to stay with you forever,,,now she will be shadowing you every where you go..the slight breeze with no wind will be her….the pressure on your shoulders when in doubt will be your mom trying to relieve the stress…when you feel overly warm that will be the love that has never left you….she will always be with you..Cry and she will be there sharing the sorrow with you and giving you the strength we all know you have to go on..

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