Today, I’m angry.
I’m angry with the doctors because they didn’t catch Mom’s cancer sooner. I’m angry with the hospital because they can’t cure her. I’m angry at science, because despite all of the amazing advances in technology and medicine we’ve made, we haven’t found a cure. Yet, we can talk to people on the other side of the world in an instant from the comfort of our couch. We can fly to the moon and live in space but still illnesses and diseases such as the common cold, Multiple Sclerosis, Alzheimer’s and Cancer, just to name a few, all still plague us.
I’m angry with myself because I don’t feel I’ve done enough. When you love someone and they’re dying, you never feel like you’ve done enough. For as much time and as many things as I may have done to help – from going to appointments, to talking to doctors, to just listening to her when she was afraid or upset, I wish I could have done more.
I’m angry with God, or the Universe, or Gaia or whatever power that be there may be. I won’t go into the reasons why. I’ll take them up with the big one itself. Those reasons can be left unsaid.
Again, it all comes down to time. The reason for my anger is because we all wanted just a little more time.